Step 2-3 Stepwork
Step Two
As we get ready to go on to Step Three, we'll want to take a look at what we've gained by working Step
Two. Writing about our understanding of each step as we prepare to move on helps us internalize the
spiritual principles connected to it.
==> What action can I take that will help me along in the process of coming to believe?
==> What am I doing to work on overcoming any unrealistic expectations I may have about being
restored to sanity?
==> What is my understanding of Step Two?
==> How has my prior knowledge and experience affected my work on this step?
As we move on to Step Three, a sense of hope is probably arising within our spirits. Even if we're not
new in recovery, we've just reinforced our knowledge that recovery, growth, and change are not just
possible but inevitable when we make the effort to work the steps. We can see the possibility of relief
from the particular brand of insanity in which we've most recently been gripped by our addiction. We've
probably already begun to experience some freedom. We're beginning to be released from the blind
pursuit of our insanity. We've explored our insanity and have started to trust a Power greater than
ourselves to relieve us from having to continue on the same path. We're beginning to be freed from our
illusions. We no longer have to struggle to keep our addiction a secret or isolate ourselves to hide our
insanity. We have seen how the program has worked for others, and we have discovered that it is
beginning to work for us as well. Through our newfound faith, we achieve the willingness to move into
action and work Step Three.
Step Three
Acceptance allows evasion and denial give way to reality and peace. With the care of
God, we are granted the power to welcome new people and new ideas into our lives.
Step Three
"We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."
We've worked Steps One and Two with our sponsor-we've surrendered, and we've demonstrated our
willingness to try something new. This has charged us with a strong sense of hope. But if we do not
translate our hope into action right now, it will fade away, and we'll end up right back where we started.
The action we need to take is working Step Three.
The central action in Step Three is a decision. The idea of making that decision may terrify us,
especially when we look at what we're deciding to do in this step. Making a decision, any decision, is
something most of us haven't done in a long time. We've had our decisions made for us-by our addiction,
by the authorities, or just by default because we didn't want the responsibility of deciding anything for
ourselves. When we add to this the concept of entrusting the care of our will and our lives to something
that most of us don't understand at this point, we may just think this whole thing is beyond us and start
looking for a shortcut or an easier way to work our programs. These thoughts are dangerous, for when
we take shortcuts in our program, we short circuit our recovery.
The Third Step decision may be too big to make in one leap. Our fears of the Third Step, and the
dangerous thinking to which those fears lead, can be eased by breaking this step down into a series of
smaller, separate hurdles. The Third Step is just one more piece of the path of recovery from our
addiction. Making the Third Step decision doesn't necessarily mean that we must suddenly, completely
change everything about the way we live our lives. Fundamental changes in our lives happen gradually
as we work on our recovery, and all such changes require our participation. We don't have to be afraid
that this step will do something to us that we're not ready for or won't like.
It is significant that this step suggests we turn our will and our lives over to the care of the God of our
understanding. These words are particularly important. By working the Third Step, we are allowing
someone or something to care for us, not control us or conduct our lives for us. This step does not
http://www.louisvilleareana.org/SWGstep_three1.htm (1 of 8)6/2/2005 11:11:30 PM
Step Three
suggest that we become mindless robots with no ability to live our own lives, nor does it allow those of
us who find such irresponsibility attractive to indulge such an urge. Instead, we are making a simple
decision to change direction, to stop rebelling at the natural and logical flow of events in our lives, to
stop wearing ourselves out trying to make everything happen as if we were in charge of the world. We
are accepting that a Power greater than ourselves will do a better job of caring for our will and our lives
than we have. We are furthering the spiritual process of recovery by beginning to explore what we
understand the word "God" to mean to us as individuals.
In this step, each one of us will have to come to some conclusions about what we think "Cod" means.
Our understanding doesn't have to be complex or complete. It doesn't have to be like anyone else's. We
may discover that we're very sure what God isn't for us, but not what God is, and that's okay. The only
thing that is essential is that we begin a search that will allow us to further our understanding as our
recovery continues. Our concept of God will grow as we grow in our recovery. Working the Third Step
will help us discover what works best for us.
Making a decision
As we've already discussed, many of us may find ourselves unnerved by the thought of making a big
decision. We may feel intimidated or overwhelmed. We may fear the results or the implied commitment.
We may think it's a once-and-for-all action and fear that we won't do it right or have the opportunity to
do it over again. However, the decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of the God of our
understanding is one we can make over and over again daily if need be. In fact, we're likely to find that
we must make this decision regularly, or risk losing our recovery because of complacency.
It is essential that we involve our hearts and spirits in this decision. Though the word "decision" sounds
like something that takes place mostly in the mind, we need to do the work necessary to go beyond an
intellectual understanding and internalize this choice.
==> Why is making a decision central to working this step?
==> Can I make this decision just for today? Do I have any fears or reservations about it? What are they?
We need to realize that making a decision without following it up with action is meaningless. For
example, we can decide one morning to go somewhere and then sit down and not leave our homes for
the rest of that day. Doing so would render our earlier decision meaningless, no more significant than
any random thought we may have.
==> What action have I taken to follow through on my decision?
==> What areas of my life are difficult for me to turn over? Why is it important that I turn them over
anyway?
Self-will
Step Three is critical because we've acted on self-will for so long, abusing our right to make choices and
http://www.louisvilleareana.org/SWGstep_three1.htm (2 of 8)6/2/2005 11:11:30 PM
Step Three
decisions. So what exactly is self-will? Sometimes it's total withdrawal and isolation. We end up living a
very lonely and self-absorbed existence. Sometimes self-will causes us to act to the exclusion of any
considerations other than what we want. We ignore the needs and feelings of others. We barrel through,
stampeding over anyone who questions our right to do whatever we want. We become tornadoes,
whipping through the lives of family, friends, and even strangers, totally unconscious of the path of
destruction we have left behind. If circumstances aren't to our liking, we try to change them by any
means necessary to achieve our aims. We try to get our way at all costs. We are so busy aggressively
pursuing our impulses that we completely lose touch with our conscience and with a Higher Power. To
work this step, each one of us needs to identify the ways in which we have acted on self-will.
==> How have I acted on self-will? What were my motives?
==> How has acting on self-will affected my life? How has my self-will affected others?
Surrendering our self-will doesn't mean we can't pursue goals or try to make changes in our
lives and the world. It doesn't mean we have to passively accept injustices to ourselves or to
people for whom we're responsible. We need to differentiate between destructive self-will and
constructive action.
==> Will pursuing my goals harm anyone? How?
==> In the pursuit of what I want, is it likely that I will end up doing something that adversely affects
myself or others? Explain.
==> Will I have to compromise any of my principles to achieve this goal? (For example: Will I have to
be dishonest? Cruel? Disloyal?)
If we are new in the program and just beginning to work Step Three, we will probably end up wondering
what God's will is for us, thinking that the step asks us to find this out. Actually, we don't formally focus
our attention on seeking knowledge of our Higher Power's will for us until the Eleventh Step, but we do
begin the process that will lead us to that point in Step Three.
God's will for us is something we will gradually come to know as we work the steps. At this point we
can come to some very simple conclusions about our Higher Power's will for us that will serve us well
for the time being. It is our Higher Power's will for us to stay clean. It is our Higher Power's will for us
to do things that will help us stay clean, such as going to meetings and talking to our sponsor regularly.
==> Describe the times when my will hasn't been enough. (For example, I couldn't stay clean on my
own will.)
==> What is the difference between my will and God's will?
At some point in our recovery, we may find that we have somehow shifted from trying to align our will
with a Higher Power's to running on self-will. This happens so slowly and subtly that we hardly even
notice. It seems as though we're especially vulnerable to self-will when things are going well. We cross
the fine line that divides humble and honest pursuit of goals from subtle manipulation and forced results.
As we get ready to go on to Step Three, we'll want to take a look at what we've gained by working Step
Two. Writing about our understanding of each step as we prepare to move on helps us internalize the
spiritual principles connected to it.
==> What action can I take that will help me along in the process of coming to believe?
==> What am I doing to work on overcoming any unrealistic expectations I may have about being
restored to sanity?
==> What is my understanding of Step Two?
==> How has my prior knowledge and experience affected my work on this step?
As we move on to Step Three, a sense of hope is probably arising within our spirits. Even if we're not
new in recovery, we've just reinforced our knowledge that recovery, growth, and change are not just
possible but inevitable when we make the effort to work the steps. We can see the possibility of relief
from the particular brand of insanity in which we've most recently been gripped by our addiction. We've
probably already begun to experience some freedom. We're beginning to be released from the blind
pursuit of our insanity. We've explored our insanity and have started to trust a Power greater than
ourselves to relieve us from having to continue on the same path. We're beginning to be freed from our
illusions. We no longer have to struggle to keep our addiction a secret or isolate ourselves to hide our
insanity. We have seen how the program has worked for others, and we have discovered that it is
beginning to work for us as well. Through our newfound faith, we achieve the willingness to move into
action and work Step Three.
Step Three
Acceptance allows evasion and denial give way to reality and peace. With the care of
God, we are granted the power to welcome new people and new ideas into our lives.
Step Three
"We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."
We've worked Steps One and Two with our sponsor-we've surrendered, and we've demonstrated our
willingness to try something new. This has charged us with a strong sense of hope. But if we do not
translate our hope into action right now, it will fade away, and we'll end up right back where we started.
The action we need to take is working Step Three.
The central action in Step Three is a decision. The idea of making that decision may terrify us,
especially when we look at what we're deciding to do in this step. Making a decision, any decision, is
something most of us haven't done in a long time. We've had our decisions made for us-by our addiction,
by the authorities, or just by default because we didn't want the responsibility of deciding anything for
ourselves. When we add to this the concept of entrusting the care of our will and our lives to something
that most of us don't understand at this point, we may just think this whole thing is beyond us and start
looking for a shortcut or an easier way to work our programs. These thoughts are dangerous, for when
we take shortcuts in our program, we short circuit our recovery.
The Third Step decision may be too big to make in one leap. Our fears of the Third Step, and the
dangerous thinking to which those fears lead, can be eased by breaking this step down into a series of
smaller, separate hurdles. The Third Step is just one more piece of the path of recovery from our
addiction. Making the Third Step decision doesn't necessarily mean that we must suddenly, completely
change everything about the way we live our lives. Fundamental changes in our lives happen gradually
as we work on our recovery, and all such changes require our participation. We don't have to be afraid
that this step will do something to us that we're not ready for or won't like.
It is significant that this step suggests we turn our will and our lives over to the care of the God of our
understanding. These words are particularly important. By working the Third Step, we are allowing
someone or something to care for us, not control us or conduct our lives for us. This step does not
http://www.louisvilleareana.org/SWGstep_three1.htm (1 of 8)6/2/2005 11:11:30 PM
Step Three
suggest that we become mindless robots with no ability to live our own lives, nor does it allow those of
us who find such irresponsibility attractive to indulge such an urge. Instead, we are making a simple
decision to change direction, to stop rebelling at the natural and logical flow of events in our lives, to
stop wearing ourselves out trying to make everything happen as if we were in charge of the world. We
are accepting that a Power greater than ourselves will do a better job of caring for our will and our lives
than we have. We are furthering the spiritual process of recovery by beginning to explore what we
understand the word "God" to mean to us as individuals.
In this step, each one of us will have to come to some conclusions about what we think "Cod" means.
Our understanding doesn't have to be complex or complete. It doesn't have to be like anyone else's. We
may discover that we're very sure what God isn't for us, but not what God is, and that's okay. The only
thing that is essential is that we begin a search that will allow us to further our understanding as our
recovery continues. Our concept of God will grow as we grow in our recovery. Working the Third Step
will help us discover what works best for us.
Making a decision
As we've already discussed, many of us may find ourselves unnerved by the thought of making a big
decision. We may feel intimidated or overwhelmed. We may fear the results or the implied commitment.
We may think it's a once-and-for-all action and fear that we won't do it right or have the opportunity to
do it over again. However, the decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of the God of our
understanding is one we can make over and over again daily if need be. In fact, we're likely to find that
we must make this decision regularly, or risk losing our recovery because of complacency.
It is essential that we involve our hearts and spirits in this decision. Though the word "decision" sounds
like something that takes place mostly in the mind, we need to do the work necessary to go beyond an
intellectual understanding and internalize this choice.
==> Why is making a decision central to working this step?
==> Can I make this decision just for today? Do I have any fears or reservations about it? What are they?
We need to realize that making a decision without following it up with action is meaningless. For
example, we can decide one morning to go somewhere and then sit down and not leave our homes for
the rest of that day. Doing so would render our earlier decision meaningless, no more significant than
any random thought we may have.
==> What action have I taken to follow through on my decision?
==> What areas of my life are difficult for me to turn over? Why is it important that I turn them over
anyway?
Self-will
Step Three is critical because we've acted on self-will for so long, abusing our right to make choices and
http://www.louisvilleareana.org/SWGstep_three1.htm (2 of 8)6/2/2005 11:11:30 PM
Step Three
decisions. So what exactly is self-will? Sometimes it's total withdrawal and isolation. We end up living a
very lonely and self-absorbed existence. Sometimes self-will causes us to act to the exclusion of any
considerations other than what we want. We ignore the needs and feelings of others. We barrel through,
stampeding over anyone who questions our right to do whatever we want. We become tornadoes,
whipping through the lives of family, friends, and even strangers, totally unconscious of the path of
destruction we have left behind. If circumstances aren't to our liking, we try to change them by any
means necessary to achieve our aims. We try to get our way at all costs. We are so busy aggressively
pursuing our impulses that we completely lose touch with our conscience and with a Higher Power. To
work this step, each one of us needs to identify the ways in which we have acted on self-will.
==> How have I acted on self-will? What were my motives?
==> How has acting on self-will affected my life? How has my self-will affected others?
Surrendering our self-will doesn't mean we can't pursue goals or try to make changes in our
lives and the world. It doesn't mean we have to passively accept injustices to ourselves or to
people for whom we're responsible. We need to differentiate between destructive self-will and
constructive action.
==> Will pursuing my goals harm anyone? How?
==> In the pursuit of what I want, is it likely that I will end up doing something that adversely affects
myself or others? Explain.
==> Will I have to compromise any of my principles to achieve this goal? (For example: Will I have to
be dishonest? Cruel? Disloyal?)
If we are new in the program and just beginning to work Step Three, we will probably end up wondering
what God's will is for us, thinking that the step asks us to find this out. Actually, we don't formally focus
our attention on seeking knowledge of our Higher Power's will for us until the Eleventh Step, but we do
begin the process that will lead us to that point in Step Three.
God's will for us is something we will gradually come to know as we work the steps. At this point we
can come to some very simple conclusions about our Higher Power's will for us that will serve us well
for the time being. It is our Higher Power's will for us to stay clean. It is our Higher Power's will for us
to do things that will help us stay clean, such as going to meetings and talking to our sponsor regularly.
==> Describe the times when my will hasn't been enough. (For example, I couldn't stay clean on my
own will.)
==> What is the difference between my will and God's will?
At some point in our recovery, we may find that we have somehow shifted from trying to align our will
with a Higher Power's to running on self-will. This happens so slowly and subtly that we hardly even
notice. It seems as though we're especially vulnerable to self-will when things are going well. We cross
the fine line that divides humble and honest pursuit of goals from subtle manipulation and forced results.
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