Spiritual Backpack

In 2002, at 20 years sober, as part of my decision to start working the program on a daily basis, I started carrying around a spiritual backpack with me.

I find that reading with a highlighter and pen makes all the difference in the world. I first make sure to highlight whatever I read that is meaningful, being careful not to select the entire page.

After reading & highlighting, I write a maximum of five words at the top in block letters to summarize what the page is about. I try to limit my reading of each book to between one paragraph and one page, as I have a lot of books I read each day, and don’t want to rush the process by reading many pages. However, sometimes I can’t help myself :)

Okay, here they are…

BIG BOOK OF AA (ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS)

Published in 1939 and written by Bill W. and 31 other members of AA. I read this every day I do my daily rituals, which currently is about 350 days/year (what can I say, I’m not perfect!). I carry the pocket version in my Spiritual Backpack ’cause it’s lighter, but have the large one at home to read stories out of.

The 12&12

Published in 1952 and written by Bill W. to clarify how to work each step. I read this every day I do my daily rituals. I carry the pocket version of this one too in my Spiritual Backpack.

JOURNAL

This is my journal, the third (or maybe even the first) most important part of my daily rituals. I lost it when my backpack was stolen and the thief took it even though he returned my backpack with my laptop and some other books. Strange. Maybe reading it inspired him to return my backpack. I was lucky enough to find the exact one still available at Barnes & Nobel!

I write in it daily, first entering the date, then where exactly I am sitting when writing (Starbucks 15th Street, or On The Beach in Kaanapali, etc.). Then I write down what’s been going in my life and head since my last entry, including actual events, great stuff, upsetting things, etc.

If I’m writing things I consider problematic (also called opportunities), I try to write down what it’s affecting, my part, what I could do differently, and any amends or other positive action I can make to be free of resentment or frustration. If I’m not sure what to do I pause after writing and ask for direction from my HP. Often I’ll write “Please show me what to do to make this better, I need your help and guidance”.

At the end of every entry comes what is probably the most important part of journaling, my list of gratitudes. They change each time, but almost always include things like AA, sobriety, God, fellowship, sponsorship, family, health, love, nature, etc. Sometimes the list is just a few things, other days it fills a half of a page or more. If I’m short on time, I write the date, where I am, and my gratitudes.

This is my daily 10th step work. As it says in the Big Book “A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes broke.” And so it is with a person I believe, but instead of losing our business, we lose our serenity, happiness, relationships, peace, and all other things we value.

Each year I work the steps one day at a time, one month at a time for the year. I work step 1 in January, 2 in February, etc. I prefer to use a Step Book. So, I look around at the bookstores and online until I find one I haven’t worked before.

At first I thought this one was geared too much toward newcomers, brand new in AA. But I found that remembering my beginnings was good for me. It has a reading, a suggested writing assignment, and a quote for each day. I simply substitute things like “having someone sober help me clean out my drug and alcohol stash” to “having someone sober help me clean out the stash of icky thoughts in my head”. Then I write down those thoughts, along with a commitment to get with a sober friend in the next 24 hours, and discuss my icky stash. Works for me. If I get a day or two behind, I just catch up. This is a daily reader.

AA’S DAILY REFLECTIONS

This was the third book in my backpack, but alas I’ve given it away long ago. Not a problem though, because my great friend Russell emails me the Daily Reflection, which I read and often forward to others from my iPhone.

DROP THE ROCK: STEPS 6 & 7

This was the next entry into my backpack, and boy was it a great addition! Since I had worked the steps on several other occasions, and always wondered why 6 & 7 had only two paragraphs in the Big Book. This book has the perfect line it in “…maybe it isn’t the Fourth or Fifth Step that needs repeating, but that it is time to take a real look at the Sixth and Seventh.” If you’re an old-timer and are starting to dislike what you’re hearing in meetings, unhappy in your marriage, have stress about your job or money, find yourself generally unhappy, then I highly recommend this book. A daily reader.

ONE DAY AT A TIME IN AL-ANON

This was the next book in my backpack but has since been given away. I’m about ready to by a new one. This is one of three daily readers for my in Al-Anon, a mandatory program for me to attend as a sober alcoholic in a relationship with a women (my great wife – who gets greater as I work my program!). The other two are listed below.

HOPE FOR TODAY

Full of wonderful daily quotes like this one “Gradually I put aside my resentments by accepting my powerlessness”. Love this book. It was stolen with my backpack, and after the thief returned it, this book was missing. I really need to replace it. A daily reader.

COURAGE TO CHANGE

Here’s the other Al-Anon daily reader I love. Don’t you love the titles of these books, I have the courage to change, I have hope for today, I’m ready to drop the rock. They go perfectly with the next one, which is fantastic for anyone who ever gets angry. A daily reader.

YOU CAN’T MAKE ME ANGRY

This book has really changed my life. Dr. Paul wrote it at the end of his life, after being married to Max forever. He was a double winner (AA & Al-Anon), and his wife was Al-Anon. He died before it was published. He wrote the story in the Big Book “Doctor,, Alcoholic, Addict”. It’s the story that is so often quoted for the paragraph on acceptance (page 449 or 417, depending on your edition). He’s written several others I plan to read. A daily reader.

ATTITUDES OF GRATITUDE IN LOVE

I was recently given this book and it’s so fantastic for my relationship. It really is all about being grateful for her and showing my gratitude for having her in my life and all that she does. I love this book. A daily reader.

UNTIL TODAY!

This book is fantastic, though a few of the days are a bit religious for me. My favorite is May 28th, and where I really started learning to love myself and stop criticizing all that I do. It really made me realize that I had locked up that sweet child when I decided to start drinking and using, and never let him out after I got sober. Many of my daily “Spiritual Spams” I text to my people come from here. A daily reader.

This book was given to me and sat on my bookshelf for ten years. The title rubbed me the wrong way, and there are some really religious readings that are tough on me. But when I finally picked it up I was shocked to find some amazing readings that were not religious at all. My favorite is the Bike Ride. A daily reader.

THE MIRACLE OF MINDFULNESS

Given to me recently by my friend Joel for my 28th AA birthday, this book is helping me to live in the moment and relish each moment. I particularly like the part in the beginning about washing the dishes to wash the dishes. A daily reader.

THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO

This book was suggested to me and I found that it does a great job at bringing love into working the 12 steps on a daily basis, and has a reading for each day of the year. A daily reader.

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Okay, I’m tired now, so I’ll list all my other literature later. It includes books I’ve read and liked, ones I’ve gotten and not liked so much. One’s I use regularly but don’t keep in my backpack (like the 12 Step Sponsorship Book and Al-Anon’s Paths to Recovery), as well as step books I’ve worked before (like A Gentle Path Through The 12 Steps, Blueprint for Progress, and The Twelve Steps: A Way Out)

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It’s now Friday, July 26, 2013. Just wanted to show you the step work book I’m using this year to go through the steps with some of my guys. I’ve used it before and still love it!